Last night

I was out with a friend looking for a place to eat. We were in Beacon, a charming town on the Hudson river which has a long narrow main street, with quite a few restaurants and cafes. There is even a donut shop where you can “build your own donut”. You’d think it would be easy to find good food there. It was about 7 pm and most of them were closing at 8, so we didn’t have as much choice as if it had been a couple of hours earlier. Unfortunately the place we chose wasn’t quite a good idea. The cafe is called Ziatun, and it’s kind of a hole in the wall. They serve Middle Eastern cuisine which I quite like. Because it was getting late we ordered take-out and had to wait a while in the cramped dining area while it was prepared. After about ten minutes an order came out in a paper bag and sat on the counter for a further five minutes while the people working there ignored it, focusing on the seated customers. Finally the waitress looked at it and said it was ours. Thanks! It had been getting cold while we were standing around waiting. It’s not like there was anyone else waiting for take-out either. It was just us.

Before Ziatun, and after Ziatun. I know what I prefer, and it ain’t the “After”.

To cut a long and boring story short, this $54 worth of Middle Eastern take-out was mostly garbage and inedible. I ordered felafel thinking that I would get a felafel. It cost $9, so that’s what I would expect to pay for something like that in today’s prices. What I got was about five small deep fried felafel balls in a paper bag. It was felafel alright. But who would order this as a take-out? It was absurd. My friend ordered some kind of burger. It was $15. It looked to be worth about $2. Imagine a McDonalds burger of today, but less interesting. That’s what it was. I also ordered another dish which consisted of chicken and lamb skewers on a bed of rice. The chicken was edible at least, but I took one bite of the lamb and had to throw it away. It was completely inedible. It was unchewable if that’s even a word. It had the consistency of a rubber band. I have no idea what they thought they were giving us, but it barely could be classified as food. Inexplicably, a bag of greasy string fries was also included in this order. Because they had been sitting on the counter (and probably in the kitchen) for so long, they too, were thrown in the trash. Stone cold string fries are an insult to anyone. Not even a drunken hobo would eat that shit.

Russian national vegan and raw food influencer, Zhanna D’Art has allegedly died of ‘starvation’ after surviving only on exotic fruits in Malaysia. But she looks so healthy!!!

How these people manage to run a business is beyond me. I would have liked my money back, but the place was too far away to be bothered going back there. I will rectify this by not ever going back to Beacon for any food at all of any kind. There are plenty of idiots who will, but I’m not going to be a part of that crowd. In case you’re thinking of going to Beacon, you might do yourself a favor and avoid going to the Ziatun (sounds a lot like Satan) restaurant, unless you have zero expectations of getting reasonably priced Middle Eastern food, that you can actually eat. To put it bluntly, it was an appalling experience. This is why I’ve stopped eating out almost altogether. It’s at best a crap shoot and at worst, you’ll pay through the nose for inedible slop.

Pencil neck Mooby is Vegan for life, how nice..

Now that I’ve got that out of the way, I can get on with my life. I could go on “yelp” or faceberg and leave a bad review, but I can’t be bothered. It’s on the record here now. Your experience may be different, but that’s what transpired for me. Earlier we had passed a reasonably empty Turkish place, which I considered going into, but on the signboard outside it said”Vegetarian” and “Vegan” in large letters. The regular food may have been great, but anyone advertising what, in my opinion, is a diet of malnutrition based on mental illness (ie; Veganism) doesn’t get my business. I just had a boiled egg. It’s a compete meal in itself and cost about 20 cents. Thank you very much.

You don’t even need teeth to eat a boiled egg.