on a Thursday morning. I had to go to the Optometrist today to pick up some shades. I get free pair of glasses ever year, so I just get the same ones, clear version or sunglasses. Many years ago I was struck in the eye with a lump of dirt thrown by some schoolboy. I was also a schoolboy at the time, and I don’t know what the fight was about. Certainly not something worthy of going blind for. This asshole threw a clod of dirt at the back of my head and I turned around just at the wrong time. I was instantly struck blind, but after spending a week in the eye hospital my eyesight gradually returned.
My right eye has never been the same since, so some time ago I had to go and get a prescription for eye glasses. It began when I couldn’t read the street signs at night. I’ve had the same prescription since then, and I think my eye sight has improved somewhat anyway, but I’ve never had what you would call 20 20 vision. Because my right eye isn’t as good as the left I have luckily avoided having to use reading glasses. The right eye sees really well close up, whereas the left one is good at distance. Between the two of them they’ve figured out which one does what.
Verify this verify that. What, we don’t believe you?
This is a long and unnecessary lead into why the Shoprite is akin to hell I know. But hey, it’s all I got today. The optometrist was supposed to open at 9, but it wasn’t. Because it is located within a supermarket I thought why not go for a stroll around the aisles until they decide to open the doors? I might find something I need to buy. This was fine except at 9 am on a Thursday morning or any morning probably, everyone in there is about 100 years old. They move slow and tend to get in the way.
BBC Verify, ABC Verify? Do these people have any original ideas at all?
The first lady I saw in the fruit and vegetable section looked like a zombie character in a horror movie. She stood there frozen holding a bunch of carrots, staring into space with dead eyes. After getting past that oddity, there was more of the same. Another ancient lady wandered past me pushing a shopping cart wearing the US flag as a colorful facemask. Thank you for your service.
There were a few mask zombies but not that many. Even though we’re in the grips of the deadly flu season, most people have decided they can live without suffocating themselves for questionable gain or safety, like everyone was forced to do in 20/21. Some very tall and ancient dude was buying a lottery ticket from the machine they have there. I hope he wins big. It’s a romantic setting, let’s face it. He stopped for a chat with some hot 85 year old. Could have been setting up a steamy rendezvous for later in the day, just before early bird dinner.
I continued on, and eventually bought some cereal (it was on sale) and some Greek yoghurt. After I had picked up my glasses, and as I was walking out the door I heard a familiar tune. It was the late, great Ozzy Osborne bellowing Crazy Train through the Shoprite PA system. This was it definite and unequivocal confirmation that I had arrived in hell. Fortunately it was only a short visit.
Good Day.
A masterpiece in the Pantheon of Rock. Watch the Flying V……fly!