I’m baaack!

I went to Hawaii for a week and it was great. The sour notes were the delays and the insufferable TSA bullshit security theater, but that’s a given thanks to George Bush and the Deep State Washington drones who created these monstrosities for no good reason. I curse them all. If I want a prison experience, I’ll ask for it thanks. Because some career criminal CUNT named Richard Reid tried to blow up a plane with a shoe bomb, every time I want to fly somewhere I have to take off my shoes and walk across your shitty, filthy fucking floor in my clean socks. To add insult to injury I then am forced to stand in some fucking machine with my arms raised like a criminal, while I’m scanned for what? I’m not a fucking terrorist. The last time I went through this ridiculous “security” I was literally groped by a homosexual pervert after all of that bullshit. The whole thing is pointless and disgusting

Hawaii is full of superannuated Boomers who shuffle around the place at a slow speed. There are a lot of people too, who would qualify as overweight. At the pool one day I saw a woman so morbidly obese that I was actually shocked that she had gotten out of the house. I’m talking “World’s Fattest Person” type obesity. Needless to say I didn’t go swimming there at all. They have a nice sea water lagoon around the side, and that’s where I was most of the time..The weather was perfect, what else can I say? I’d move there if I thought I could take the boredom which I think would eventually set in, but maybe it would be ok? I don’t know.

Boomers love their Luau’s

The flight time from NYC is 11 something hours. It’s too much. Five hours in and you just want to get off. On the way back it was quicker (8 1/2 hrs) but the flight tracker app (the thing on the screen that shows you the stats) got stuck outside of LA at 5.35 minutes left to travel to the destination, NY. I’m sitting there looking at this thing for about three hours until I realized it was broken. It felt like 12 hours thanks to this. The girl sitting next to me had come from Sydney and had spent 6 hours in Honolulu, so she was in worse shape than me. Maybe Alaskan can fix these problems. The tray table broke halfway into the journey as well. Next time I’m stopping in California for a few days on the way there and back. I can’t do the long hauls no more.

Hawaiian was bought by Alaskan Airways last week

Yesterday the BBC broadcast Shane McGowan’s funeral. If you don’t know, he was the drunken lead singer of the Irish group the Pogues, until he was kicked out for basically being a destructive asshole. Among the mourners was Nick Cave who performed a McGowan song on the piano. A miracle must have happened because Cave seemed to have regained all the hair that was recently missing from his head. Bono from U2 delivered a reading from the Bible via the church PA, and Johnny Depp was there in person with another Bible passage I think. Shane’s wife got up at the lecturn and proceeded to insult everyone in the entire building by saying that Shane had more Holy Spirit in him than any priest she had ever met.

The holiest man ever, according to his missus

She went on to say that one of their favorite LPs was Van Morrison’s Astral Weeks which they would listen to over and over. At one point there was a display of Shane’s treasured possessions including a Buddhist statue, a football jersey, a packet of Barry’s tea and a copy of the album Led Zeppelin 2. The priest held up all these items as they were announced, so that the congregation could see them. It was an oddball funeral for sure. Placed on the wicker coffin throughout, we could see a photograph of Shane McGowan, looking for all the world like a jug eared imbecile with a ciggie in hand. On the left of the alter was a picture of a similar vintage with a drunken looking Shane holding forth a glass of wine, again with a fag in his right hand. “His songs will be sung a hundred years from now” said someone. Maybe. Nobody who was there will be around to find out though.