when things are fucked up, it’s better to leave them that way, rather than try and fix them. Yesterday, because summer appears to be over, I started the annual removing of the A/C units from the windows. Because this joint is so huge and so old, it’s the only way to cool it down. I’d love a central heating and cooling system, but I don’t want to re-engineer the house to get one. As I was taking out the one that is in this room, I looked out the window onto the balcony which, while fairly useless, always fills up with water because the drain pipe is blocked. It was a mini lake out there again. I’ve tried to unblock this drain pipe on multiple occasions, but it’s never been 100% successful. For some aesthetic reason perhaps, the original architect of this house decided to install this pipe which is on the second floor, inside the walls of the building. This effectively means you cannot access it unless you demolish the inside wall or the outside wall which by the way, consists of solid granite blocks at least a foot thick.

The birds like the bathing pool that appears up there after it rains.

The drain runs from the balcony down into the basement inside the wall. It’s insane. This drain pipe was blocked the day we bought this house. Over 100 years of crap has been washing down there to the point that it is a solid mass somewhere near the bottom. I know this because I haven’t been able to dislodge it ever, no matter what I do. Yesterday I decided to take it up a notch and use a powered drain snake machine. I bought this thing a couple of years ago because in the winter, the basement drain pipes would freeze and get blocked. I used to hire a machine to do it, but I thought fuck it, I’ll buy my own. It had worked great up until now. I was going pretty well with the machine up on the balcony until I had got to the end of the snake’s limit. It must be 30 or 50 feet, I’m not sure, but the snake still couldn’t reach that last mass of crap that was way down at the bottom. In fact it broke off the machine and disappeared down the fucking pipe!

The snakeless snake machine

I was using a very long pole earlier to try and push what I could down the hole, so I grabbed that and tried to push the snake out at the other end. That cunt of a thing slipped out of my grasp and it too, disappeared down the drain pipe. Now there are two objects lodged in this cunting pipe. I can’t even see them anymore. They sure as hell ain’t poking out the bottom like they should be. They’re trapped in pipe hell. The only way I can get these things out now is to remove the whole drain pipe, which as I said is installed inside the walls. The whole thing is fucking retarded. The stupid balcony isn’t even a balcony per se. It’s a decorative feature to make this joint look like a…er, fortress. Why they didn’t just put a pipe over the outside is beyond me. The fucking water ends up there anyway. Everyone probably thought it was an amazing idea. Hide those ugly drain pipes already! They didn’t have a time machine to travel into the future to see what a fucking dumb idea it actually was.

That’s what it feels like around here a lot.

I don’t know what to do. Get a sledge hammer and try and smash the whole thing down so it comes out the other end, or just try and cut the pipe out at the top where it goes into the balcony floor? There isn’t any good solution. I’ve got god knows how many feet of drain pipe stuck inside the walls, that has the most limited access to it that you could possibly have. I’ll probably just cut the whole thing out and replace it with something from this century. I think the pipe is copper. They wanted it to last at least. Unfortunately some imbeciles along the way didn’t bother making sure the thing didn’t get blocked up to the point that I have to deal with their fucking stupidity and lack of maintenance. Thanks, you stupid cunts. I should have just left it alone like they did.

“There will be no peace in the Middle East, not now or ever”….no kidding